Origins
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Angela's Story
Angela is a lady who I met via email after she found the Origins Tasmania Website. Angela is from South Africa and at this point in time, still has not been able to find people who will offer her support or help. Angela feels very much alone where she is and is trying so hard to tell her story to many people in a hope that what she has been through does not happen to anyone else.
Angela has tried to tell her story approaching editors in a hope that they will publish her story, but because her story is "too difficult and too sensitive", they refuse to do so. As the Origins Tasmania website designer and also Secretary/Editor of Origins Tasmania I offered to tell her story, as she has told me via emails
So on that note, please read these all important emails, and if there is anyone out there that may have possible contacts in South Africa that can offer her support or help in fighting for her son, could you please email me.
Tuesday 30th October 2000
" I have been to see so many lawyers who all say the same thing "it is going to difficult, and at the end it could be all for nothing" this is to just for me to see him. I have even tried to publicise my story but the editors come back to me, and say they won't publicise it because it is too sensitive. In other words I should forget about it. My child doesn't even know he is adopted as the adoptive parents refuse to tell him saying that they are his real parents. Herewith my story "
I reside in Johannesburg, South Africa, I have tried to get a contact in South Africa who is doing exactly what Origins have done but haven't been successful. I went onto the internet - global and came across your site. I think it is wonderful what you have done, I have read all your documentation and considering my story is very similar and am experiencing it still, I can relate a lot to this.
I am a white female aged 30, matriculated in 1988 from Forest High School, Johannesburg, I went on to work at First National Bank in Selby, Johannesburg. Commencement date – January 1989 where I met the father of Ronald (Henk Venter). I fell pregnant in February 1989 and gave birth to Ronald on the 20th November 1989 at the General Hospital. My relationship with the father of this child (HenkVenter), from day one was a very abusive relationship, physically and verbally. This carried on throughout until the next year May 1990 when my suspicions confirmed that I was pregnant again this time with twins. He was not interested at all and told me so, he wasn’t even paying attention to Ronald, he asked me to move out in June 1990. I moved out, pregnant and with Ronald who was then 7 months old. I then moved into my own flat in Rosettenville, Johannesburg. I met my recent husband three weeks later, I told him my situation and luckily he stayed with me, giving me support throughout. I miscarried with the twins due to all the pressure I was under. I was only 19 years old and was going throught the most horrible time in my life thanks to Henk Venter. Henk did not bother for a year to make contact or query about his son, or even contribute to Ronald.
He did contact me a year later to find out if he could see Ronald, to which I said yes, as at the end of the day he was still his father. Henk started coming to fetch Ronald for the weekend, the second time he came around he was all of a sudden dating a pastor’s daughter (Ronel Beukes) who was then residing with her parents Pastoor Beukes in Krugersdorp. After the first month that Henk had taken Ronald for the weekend, I got a call the following Monday from the welfare informing me that they were placing Ronald in foster care as a assault case had been opened against my boyfriend by Henk and that they would be placing Ronald with Pastor Mr/Mrs Beukes. I then had two police officers coming to my work (one female, one male) who agreed with me that from the evidence presented there was no reason for this case as there had only been a light small bruise on him and no evidence that he had been severely beaten according to the lies made up by Henk Venter and Pastor Beukes. They also agreed with me that Henk was trying to take his son away from me. They then informed me they were closing the case. As this case was opened, it was closed immediately. When Henk and Mrs Beukes didn’t come right there they went after me. Henk and Mrs Beukes then placed him in hospital saying that he had laringitis or menigitis, I got blamed for this. But considering Ronald was in their care it didn’t make sense. At that time I was too young and naïve and did not questions as I had no knowledge of the law and financially could not afford an attorney.
The times I visited the Beukes home, they were always rude to me, would not leave me alone with Ronald and Henk was always there with his girlfriend. Pastoor Beukes/wife would ignore me and I was made to feel very uncomfortable in their home and could not even go near Ronald as they were intimidating me.
They intimidated me so much that all I could think about was getting away from this horrible situation. Shortly afterwards Pastoor Beukes/wife applied to adopt Ronald, me being naïve I said yes, just thinking about this whole situation was too painful for me to bear. I gave up my son not because I didn’t love him but because I couldn’t stand to see him going through all this. Here were these people who didn’t even know me well enough but because Henk was going to marry their daughter they were doing everything in their power to make sure that the child would remain with their side of the family. I loved Ronald then and I still love him today and will always love him.
They applied for adoption in Krugersdorp, I signed in Johannesburg in the Magistrate’s court on the 10/11/1992, I remember telling the magistrate that the conditions I would sign the adoption papers was that I would be able to see Ronald afterwards and I was entrusting Mr/mrs Beukes to not give the child to Henk. I was assured by them, they would not. As soon as the adoption forms were signed, Mrs Beukes phoned us to tell us not to bother going through to see Ronald as it was best for the child, she played on our feelings so we would stay away. Now it comes out that the conditions I had requested upon signing the adoption papers was not put on paper (see attached welfare paper) as the papers were applied in Krugersdorp and finalized there, so whatever I said to the Magistrate in Johannesburg was not taken into consideration. I only found out now that as soon as I had signed those papers Ronald went to stay with Henk and that Henk had married the Pastor’s daughter, Ronel Beukes. If I think about it now it definitely was foul play.
I didn’t know until recently when a ad notice came out next to my husband’s advert, the name Henk Venter caught my eye. I contacted him and he confirmed all this, except now he was divorced from the pastor’s daughter as he had mishandled her as well. He also confirmed that as soon as they got divorced the pastor used his legal position and took the child back into his care.
I contacted the Pastor’s wife and she confirmed what I had heard from Henk but told me I was not allowed to see Ronald because I would disturb his environment. I even went to her house to beg her to see Ronald and all I got was a door slammed in my face with a remark from Pastor Beukes and his wife “YOU ARE NOT HIS MOTHER, I AM!”. She even went as far as to get a court order for me not to make contact with Ronald at all, or there will be a warrant for my arrest.
We ran a check on Mr/Mrs Beukes, the pastor has JUDGEMENTS in his name (see attached). This is already evidence that this man is not as honest as he seems. They are always relocating within the past 9 years they have relocated every year. Every time I had tried to get hold of them they had relocated. The pastor and his wife are nearly sixty years old and how are they able to look after Ronald if they can’t even pay their debts.
I even had a letter distributed in the Rustenburg area a month ago where they reside (see attached) to try for the pastor to change his mind or even to get a reaction from them but no luck. I have a seven year old son from my current husband and he is very anxious to see Ronald. Every day he asks why he can’t see his half-brother.
My husband and I have been to see the administrator (Pastoor Oosthuizen) of the head office of the PPK Church in Isando, two weeks ago, who told us it definitely was a sin for Pastor Beukes to behave like this as he should be an example to his community and on top of it he had judgements, he said they would be having a disciplinary hearing and that he definitely would do something about it, and would contact us immediately but up to today he hasn’t even bothered. My husband and I recorded this conversation with him (unknown to him) as we have learned not to trust Pastor’s.
No-one asked me what I wanted, in fact, no-one discusses anything concerning my baby… When the welfare worker arrived, she had her back to me all through the interview… When I asked about options, she said, they would put her into foster care, but only for 6 months, then she would be made a Ward of the State…
All I want out of this whole mess is to have a chance to see my son. Ronald is not a possession as they see him, that they use him for their selfish needs but a human life who has the right to choose for himself.
I refuse to let my family to go to church after this experience as I don’t believe anymore in pastor’s who preach we must forgive and forget and here they are doing the opposite. They should be setting an example to the community, not the other way round.
Thursday 2nd November 2000
Angela is sure that we will agree with her that the
other birthparents have it easier than in her case, as they can be reunited
with their birthchildren without complications whereas in hercase she doesn't
really stand a chance. No, I haven't met up with my son again, I
tried as you read, to see the adoptive parents first out of respect for
them as I believed they should be the one to tell him he is adopted, I guess
I was wrong. And now, even if I go to his school or try and make contact
the Pastor's wife will have me arrested because of the court order. As they
are pastors the people are scared of getting involved that is why I haven't
had much help at all. And as much as I love my child I don't want to go
to jail, and I have to think about my husband and my 7 year old.
But you know what GOD is great and one day he is going to find out what they did to me when I was trying to see him and he definitely will turn against them.
Sunday 19th November 2000
Up to date I have gone to see the second Pastor (Dion Maritz) in charge
of their church and we have become friends, we were at his house on friday
having a braai and this friday we have invited him to come over for a braai.
Pastor Dion is in charge of the Beukes who are the adoptive parents and Dion agrees with us that this situation is totally unfair and it is not right. Dion says that if the Beukes do decide to carry on ahead and sue me then the church has to get involved as a Pastor is not allowed to sue anybody, since pastors are public figures. I didn't even know that! That's good news for me, since he has taken a liking to us and seems to have taken our side. Dion also told us that the Beukes are very hard and cold people and that if they had to go and preach in his church all the people would run away. That already says a lot of what Dion thinks of the Buekes.
Thursday 30th November 2000
Just thought I'd quickly write to you to keep you up to date and seek some
advice.
Remember I told you about Pastor Dion Maritz who is in charge of the adoptive parents, well he came to the braai last week Friday and told us he was to going to Rustenburg this Tuesday to see the Beukes(adoptive parents), I had already warned him not to bother as the Beukes won't listen to him. Anyway, that's what I expected. But to my surprise Pastor Dion came back to us yesterday and told us he had good news for us, that the adoptive parents are prepared to meet us, and that apparently my child (Ronald) knows that he is adopted, as the adoptive parents had no choice but to tell him. But, Ronald is afraid to meet me as he apparently is very happy there and is scared I am going to take him away. Obviously I am deeply hurt by this as the last thing I want in this world is for him to be afraid. Could you please give me some advice on how about to deal him when I meet him and the Beukes still continue saying it is THEIR CHILD, she still makes out as if I didn't play a role in his life. Why can't she call herself the adoptive parents and me the biological mother. Am I wrong in this approach?
At the moment I am so scared of meeting Ronald basically because he is scared and also I didn't expect it to be so soon, but also knowing that the adoptive parents will be there to intimidate me and remind me that I am not his mother. Apparently there is a summons for me to take me to court on it's way, but after Pastor Dion had spoken to them and told them that as a Pastor he is not allowed to do this, the Beukes will not go further with it. ANYWAY, PLEASE HELP. I need emotional support.
As you can see, as you read, Angela does need a lot of emotional help, and with me being so far away, it makes it hard for me to give her as much as I would love to. However I feel that with the support of all who read Angela's Story, she can get through this regardless of how hard these people make it for her. If you would like to help with her support, please email me and I will forward your letters of support to her.
As Angela sends me updates on what is happening, I will post them here for you to read.